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Delight in Random minor. by Tammi-sempai

:iconmisaera:
Since you submitted to the Critique Requested folder in :iconpainttoolsai-artist:, I am going to give you a critique.

Overall, it's quite a nice picture. Lots of details and colors going on but they blend well together. The very subtle use of texture adds a nice touch, and even though I am not a fan of using textures, this one actually works. The weird belltree thingy growing from the box is pretty unique, and adds a lot of details to the picture.

However, there are some problems this piece suffers from. While the character is placed neatly along the Rule of Thirds, the supporting objects tore the composition apart. The bookshelf serves as a bad distraction due to its geometrical shape (anything square/triangle/rectangle/circle will be distracting, and it doesn't help that the bookshelf is quite big and has an unique color). What makes the bookshelf even worse is the hunch on its side. As the viewer's eyes move left to right, that part is basically shouting "Hey, stop and look at me!". There are two other very distracting geometrical shapes, which are the oval mirror and the rectangle window(?). Aside from being easily recognizable geometrical shapes, (1) the oval mirror is making a -horrible- tangent by having it's frame lining up to the canvas's side; (2) The rectangle window awkwardly goes out of the picture. Another composition problem is the slight imbalance between to sides of the picture. This is not really noticeable at first glance (due to the eyes reading left to right and the flat perspective), but if you analyze the picture (by flipping it horizontally), then it becomes rather obvious. The chair is too big and dark, thus somewhat creating an imbalance of weight and color between the two sides.

Another problem is the perspective. Do you have a set horizontal line and vanishing points when you draw this? If you do, then those vanishing points aren't really appealing. If you don't, then you should start researching and applying those to your future drawings. Some of the perspective problems are rather obvious: (1) Depending on your horizon line, either the biggest lamp that faces upward, or the lamps that face downward, although I think it's the former; (2) The bookshelf in relation to the wall; (3) The sofa (depending on your horizon). Why are these problems? (1) shows too much of the top (the open part) of the lamp; (2) shows too much of the bookshelf's sides, making it looks like it's not lined up to the wall; (3) shows too much of the sofa's top.

There are also some anatomy problems, but they aren't too detrimental to the picture. The neck is a bit long and head a bit big. Breasts are awkwardly drawn. It feels as if she only has one breast. I really like curves and bumps of the muscles and joint though, it's excellent (like the knee, the back, and the lower part of the leg).

To fix the problems above, you could start by improving the composition. Get rid of the mirror and window, as there's little point in them staying. Get rid of the green bookshelf. Add a brown-ish bookshelf (like the boxes) right behind the plant, and around it's height (preferably a bit lower than the highest flower's height). Add another bookshelf that's falling and leaning on the previous bookshelf. If you like the small flower vase, have it lying on a box. Scatter books around the floor, preferably colored green (leaf), dark purple (sofa) - especially this, pink-red (flower vase), yellow (ribbon). Add another box in the bottom right corner (a bit darker than the other boxes, just a bit). This solves several problems: (1) Gets rid of the problematic objects like the mirror; (2) The two sides of the picture are now balanced, yet because of the color of the 2 added bookshelves (similar to the scattering boxes), they don't draw attention away from the character; (3) Creates a more consistent color harmony by having scattered books with similar colors to the surrounding objects; (4) Adds a much needed foreground to the bottom right corner. Understand that this does not mean I'm encouraging you to redo the picture, as that is a seriously demotivating process, but rather to imagine what the artwork would look like with these changes (and preferrably sketch a bit just to help visualize), then take them into consideration for your next artworks.

Have fun drawing.
The Artist thought this was FAIR
5 out of 5 deviants thought this was fair.

Comments


:icontammi-sempai:
Tammi-sempai Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2012  Student Digital Artist
wow! I MUST say... this has been one of the most helpful crit I've gotten in years lol :icontakuyastareplz:

Thank you sooo mmuch for it, and I've learned quite abit from it. And i must admit that ,i i actually didnt have any perspective lines and such with this piece.
I was just drawing the character and suddenly i started sticking random stuff in the pic to fill it up.
I'll be a little more considerate next time and put alot more effort and time in preparing a proper background :icondragonnodplz:

Thank you soo much again for this awesome crit :iconarigatouplz:
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